Emotions - such a constraint at times.
I once tweeted this "One day you'll realize that you're not as strong as you've always believed, or wished, yourself to be. And that scares you." (why exactly I said that back in 2013, I can't remember though) and somehow, it rings so true today / right now.
I feel that my procrastination has seeped into other aspects of life (apart from academic) and it's honestly not wise. It reminds me of the Ted video I watched a while back - what will you do with life goals that don't have deadlines? Will you procrastinate indefinitely?
I think it's time to stop being an escapist and start being assertive. While I can say that the environment shapes who I am today (and I do truly believe in this), I guess ultimately, if I still have this voice in me, I am strong enough to change.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Yes, pray; seek and you shall receive.