Just one incident and it could get me all trembling. My brain firing all over the place, "what do I do now?" "Is it my fault?" "Is it happening all over again?" "Did nothing get better?" "Is she feeling alright?" "Will she do something stupid?" Questions, doubts, fear, palpitating heart.
Not forgetting the questions that follow after calming down, "Why me? Why this family?" "Why is it happening again?" "Is my entire life going to be defined by this?"
Then I took a deep breath, and things that I've learnt in class start coming back to me. (I'm ever so thankful for having taken this Social Work module)
- "It is not my fault, it is not my fault." If need be, repeat it a few more times till it gets into your head, that everything happening right now is NOT your fault. This darkness, this mess, is not your fault. You couldn't have done anything better to prevent it; nothing.
- "I deserve a hug" Self love is important; be kind to others but also don't forget to be kind to yourself. If you can't even care for yourself, you aren't going to be well enough to care for others.
- "I live my own life" You are not your parent; you don't have to live in their shadow and that constant fear. Breathe, you are doing great.
And of course from my greatest source of strength, the One who doesn't fail, the One who loves from day 1 till eternity
- “He gives and He takes away" The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. - you will only become stronger, more resilient, more emphatic, more understanding, and for all of that goodness, be thankful.
Blessed be Your name