Thursday, May 26, 2016

Ever had one of those days you simply feel under the weather for no particular reason? (OK there must be a reason, but on other days it won't even seem valid.) Today's that day. Feeling mediocre, weary, jaded. Doubting decisions that you have made. Being irked by the smallest of remarks.

Chanced upon a friend's FB post, and similarly, I'm one who doesn't like to regret. In fact, I don't believe in it because I know that I would make the same decision if I were to be in the same circumstance again. Yet sometimes, I cannot help but regret when I keep making the same mistakes again and again.

Today's one of those days, I just want to sip coffee, perhaps pick a book and lie in bed, or sway along acoustic tunes, or pick up my newly-bought water brush pen and doodle a little.

Friday, May 20, 2016


"For thinking... it does not create values, it will not find out, once and for all, what "the good" is, and it does not confirm but rather dissolves accepted rules of conduct.. Its political and moral significance comes out only in those rare moments in history when... 'The best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity.'"        - Hannah Arendt

How much of your thoughts can you trust? Or the emotions that you feel? The judgments that you pass?

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Summer break

It's been a while!!! I'm finally done with Freshman year and am feeling pretty good - maybe not so much when results are out hahaha. I just finished translating a chapter for Yongqin and it's such a blessing to do so, for it reminds me of my faith and what I hold on to :) It's amazing what he is doing in HK :)
It seems like post-exams always follows with difficult decisions and dilemmas for me. I guess it's because I always do last-minute revision and hence put off other decisions. Oops. Also, decision-making isn't a forte of mine hahaha. (at the age of 20, it sometimes amazes me how many things I am uncertain of and how many decisions I cannot make independently. I feel like an old soul sometimes but I also feel very, very lost at other times) Ultimately, one has to learn to make decisions, take responsibility for them, and learn from mistakes, never to commit them again. For me, regrets only come when you know that you would have made a different decision were you back in the same situation but most of the time, this isn't the case.

Meanwhile, I think all I need is to come before Him, quieten myself, and place everything (including my very messy heart / mind (???)) in His hands.

Also, I think I enjoyed the freedom in Cinnamon too much that I find myself needing to adapt to life back at home. Well, it's not a (completely) bad thing because it also means that I'm kicking some bad habits that I used to have. I am learning to appreciate the little acts of love a lot more nowadays too. Patience, patience. Not just with my family, but also with everything else in life that doesn't seem to have an answer right now. Waiting is really difficult, particularly in this era whereby speed and efficiency is everything, and I wish I could get instant answers but I also know that answers that arrive after waiting will be sweeter.

GOOD NIGHT and to (self-rewarded) good food tomorrow ^^