Sunday, November 22, 2015


"We see people and things not as they are, but as we are." Anthony De Mello 

So, so true.

The semester is coming to an end, and I honest can't wait for it to end. It's not so much that I didn't enjoy this semester - there were some pretty insane and a million other hilarious moments. But it's been too much of a emotional roller-coaster ride.

Then the quote above, and Inside Out both made me realise that all these emotions that I'm feeling are merely what I made of situations and people. Happiness is a choice.
(On a sidenote, Inside Out is a A+++ movie! Totally worth watching, even though it meant staying up a bit more to study oops.)

3 more papers (but WCT submission and PS paper already made me unbelievably happy haha) and it's time to find myself again. I will put up a better fight next semester, it's a promise.

Saturday, November 14, 2015


Would finish this post in a jiffy because I really should grab some sleep. Today was a relatively busy day - went for Barré session in the morning before visiting my grandparents, then I grabbed my stuff at Cinnamon and went off to church for fellowship. Yet, I felt peace that I haven't felt for the entire week.
Image result for peaceful emoji

 This would be the perfect face to describe me now!

But anyway, my point being, there are so many incidents and sharings today that made me reflect upon the idea of loss, that I cannot not pen it down.
The Paris attacks. It was hard to read the updates, and especially the accounts of those involved / with loved ones involved. I cannot imagine why anyone would commit such atrocities. And I cannot imagine the pain that so many people are facing now, I pray that they receive comfort in their own ways.
Visiting my grandparents. Apparently my grandparents said that they haven't seen me for months - which might be true :/ They were so pleasantly surprised to see me, and said that I've grown taller - which I don't think I did, but it just goes to show how long I've yet to meet them. And then seeing that my grandma's memory and health seem to be failing, it made me feel like I've severely under-appreciated my grandparents' existence and love. I can't even understand why I would neglect them for other nonsense that isn't nearly as important.
Barré session. Well, Rachel is really quite something to be starting this organization at the age of 19. That's me right now, yet I'm nowhere as driven / passionate as her. Her candid sharing made me rethink my purpose of joining this organization and my purpose in university on a whole. While she is no longer going to preside over Barré, she doesn't see this as a loss because she knows that she has done what she needs to.

But loss, I find that it's all in the mind. Something is only lost because we think that we've lost it. (This is a very sketchy thought at the moment - and I'm sleepy, sorry) But this feeling of loss is not necessarily a bad thing because it goes to show that this something mattered to us. What's important is what we make of it - meaning, how we face it and what we choose to learn from it. Reflecting on my losses in life - or what I viewed as losses - I think that I've also learnt a fair share from them. OK I think I'll leave this for another day, and it shall be au revoir / bonne nuit after this poem that I've been using the last line from without even knowing (and the full text is even more beautiful!! One of my faves now!):

Max Ehrmann's Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Monday, November 9, 2015

What makes me happy

Re-read one of my older blog posts, and decided to embark on this (with full knowledge that finals are in 2 weeks, and WCT is still unfinished oops. But like what I told JH, there are some things far more important that work, and well, this feels important right now~)

10 Things That Make Me Happy

Not sure if I can finish today, but here goes~ (and in no particular order)

#10 - Talking to old friends. Like how we were talking about first impressions during fellowship yesterday and it dawned upon me that I've known some of these people for nearly half my life, and that we've watched each other grow (': It's a beautiful, beautiful feeling!

#9 - Listening to songs and dancing / singing to them. Not that I can sing or dance, but just random wiggle / headbanging / body waves and shrieks / off-key singing hahaha

#8 - Pretty and cute pictures / quotes. This is why I prefer Instagram over Facebook - I felt that there was too much negativity and angst on FB, whereas Insta is generally filled with happier stuff.

#7 - Playing the piano. Always been my hideout when I'm upset. Currently trying to learn Forbidden Colours (Ryuichi Sakamoto) and MYYY GOODNESS, why does it have to be in such a difficult key.

#6 - Being in-the-moment, or simply put, stoning. Like, sitting by the window ledge (my fave spot in the room!) enjoying the breeze, or being by the seaside listening to the waves. As much as I love hanging out with friends, I think that there's beauty in alone time. And I don't mean alone time mugging, I mean alone alone.

-- Can't think of anymore at the moment, so I shall leave with one of my favourite quotes from Le Petit Prince (which I've yet to read actually). I shall drop by the French bookshop soon ^^ --

"On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."

Au revoir!

#5 - Quiet time. I think more than happiness, it keeps me grounded and at peace, which is so important in a world filled with noise.
                                                                           哥林多前书 6:12
(I just realised that this is such a multilingual post...)

#4 - Traveling. I really enjoy taking the plane and landing at an unknown place, spending time to explore it. Till date, I've enjoyed every overseas trip. 
And, just for fun, I shall list the places that I would love to visit ^^
  1. France - Paris, Marseilles, Lyon, etc.
  2. Taiwan - I can't believe my parents really went there while I was in China )':
  3. China - Tibet, Guilin, Hangzhou, and perhaps Beijing again
  4. UK - Cornwall, Edinburgh, London (again)
  5. Thailand - Chiang Mai, Thailand islands
Ok the list makes me happy already hahaha. Someone find me a job whereby all I need to do is travel please!!! 

#3 - Jogging (at night, because I really don't like the sun). Plus it makes me feel healthier and then I can eat more.

#2 - Eating ^^ Doesn't need to be expensive food but I think that the company / taste / ambiance matters more (in order of importance, yes). But I would love ice cream and chocolate anytime anywhere with anyone <:

#1 - Sleeping after a long, long day.

Goodbye :)

I've decided not to lock this blog up anymore, for no particular reason really, just didn't see the need to lock it anymore.

je suis paumée. 

Saturday, November 7, 2015

La tranquilité

Sometimes you just need to unwind and let yourself immerse in the serenity around you.

The comfortable breeze, the cute but noisy couple beside you, the half naked dude playing soccer, the beautiful sky that hints at a thunderstorm, the laughter from afar.
The sea and the sound of ships, the waves that crash in rhythm against the shore, possibly the man who shouted at you incoherently (probably not actually, come to think of it), and the joggers who pass by once in a while.

Indeed, it's been quite a while.

The sea is such a beautiful creation. It's so therapeutic that I could listen to it for hours. :)