Saturday, September 3, 2016

It is well

When you ask me "What's wrong?", I can't quite answer you because I don't know what's wrong. (reminds me of CFG!! Emotional literacy is low rn. I think it's high time to figure out what I'm feeling. )

I know that it's a slippery slope and that I'm allowing myself to sink into this emotional black hole, yet I can't pull myself out. (CFG says: Emotional hijack.)

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One of those days everything suddenly piles on you - work, commitments, family, etc. - and you feel like shouting "stop" and taking a break. At the same time, you feel like you have no right to do so because you 1. have a lot more to do and 2. don't feel like you have done very much - especially compared to others who seem to have so much more on their plate yet seem to cope fine. Then, all sorts of negative emotions start overwhelming you - anxiety, sense of inadequacy, frustration, fear, anger, impatience - and you feel guilty about it because 1. you should be much, much stronger than to let all these matters trouble you for so long, 2. there isn't a very compelling reason for you to be feeling so low (it's not like some disaster struck) and 3. you feel like a burden to others when you aren't your usual self. Then ironically, this guilt makes you feel even worse. And the cycle goes on.

Yes, that's what I'm feeling.

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I don't know why I'm suddenly feeling so weak. I feel like I need to quieten myself before Him and remind myself to gain strength from Him. 得力在于平静安稳.