This would be the perfect face to describe me now!
But anyway, my point being, there are so many incidents and sharings today that made me reflect upon the idea of loss, that I cannot not pen it down.
The Paris attacks. It was hard to read the updates, and especially the accounts of those involved / with loved ones involved. I cannot imagine why anyone would commit such atrocities. And I cannot imagine the pain that so many people are facing now, I pray that they receive comfort in their own ways.
Visiting my grandparents. Apparently my grandparents said that they haven't seen me for months - which might be true :/ They were so pleasantly surprised to see me, and said that I've grown taller - which I don't think I did, but it just goes to show how long I've yet to meet them. And then seeing that my grandma's memory and health seem to be failing, it made me feel like I've severely under-appreciated my grandparents' existence and love. I can't even understand why I would neglect them for other nonsense that isn't nearly as important.
Barré session. Well, Rachel is really quite something to be starting this organization at the age of 19. That's me right now, yet I'm nowhere as driven / passionate as her. Her candid sharing made me rethink my purpose of joining this organization and my purpose in university on a whole. While she is no longer going to preside over Barré, she doesn't see this as a loss because she knows that she has done what she needs to.
But loss, I find that it's all in the mind. Something is only lost because we think that we've lost it. (This is a very sketchy thought at the moment - and I'm sleepy, sorry) But this feeling of loss is not necessarily a bad thing because it goes to show that this something mattered to us. What's important is what we make of it - meaning, how we face it and what we choose to learn from it. Reflecting on my losses in life - or what I viewed as losses - I think that I've also learnt a fair share from them. OK I think I'll leave this for another day, and it shall be au revoir / bonne nuit after this poem that I've been using the last line from without even knowing (and the full text is even more beautiful!! One of my faves now!):
Max Ehrmann's Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.