Friday, November 11, 2016

a short reflection

Thought it'll be good for a reflection as this semester is soon coming to an end and as I push through the last lap.

I've put in more effort this semester academically, but I can't say this same for my social and extra-curricular life - *note for next semester. I've definitely been more involved in serving at church (thank God) - whether for my group, or for other events. I've taken modules that I didn't even know I could survive in. I have found a greater interest for things happening in the world - just a little more. I begin to enjoy lessons more and find myself questioning what I'm taught. I've started to note down little sparks and lofty ideas that cross my mind instead of letting them pass. I'm more forgetful that I thought myself to be. It's like my brain is restarting the engine that has been down for a long, long time. I'm going for SEP next year. I'll probably (must?) start considering internships too. But not without a lot of prayers because I really don't know what I can and want to do for the world as of now. I've learnt that expectations are a double-edged sword - it's made me so miserable the past few months, but without it, I will always settle for sub-standard work / mediocrity. I actually enjoy family time a bit more nowadays. I have learnt to really empathize - it's not easy. Many times I've let my emotions get the better of me - very uncharacteristic of me, honestly - but I've also learnt not to conceal my emotions all the time. I've cut myself some slack these few days - instead of sinking into another panic attack - and it seems to be working much better. "Be kind to yourself", "be patient with yourself" - never found the need and hence never quite understood it till this semester. I might have have struck a poor balance between social life and alone time this semester so *note for next semester definitely. But it has also shown me who are friends whom I treasure dearly. My relationship with God has its fair share of ups and downs but I know for a fact He's always there - we may fail but He has / does / will not fail us.

Just letting things flow in my mind now and so it's a very unstructured post. With this, it's time to return to QR ^-^

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