Sometimes I don't ask questions because I fear that I'm not ready for the answer. Sometimes I already know the answer but I just can't bear to hear it said out loud. Yet, these questions are like time bombs - threatening to explode anytime.
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Anyway, I can't believe that it's Year 2!!! (GASPS) It feels like everything and yet nothing has changed. I am (as usual) feeling so unprepared for the new academic year, with commitments starting to roll in and decisions waiting to be made. It's time to make a list / timetable so that I don't over-commit (or under-commit, if there is such a thing).
I really hope that Week 0 is not a foreshadow of the term that is to come because I basically spent everyday rolling around and going out with friends, conveniently putting "study for QR" aside. Also, 8 am lectures await (sobs.)
Here's to a more fulfilling and disciplined Year 2!
Sunday, August 7, 2016
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Saturday, June 25, 2016
je voyage
I initially wanted to type a long post but I couldn't find the words to condense my thoughts into a blog-able material. And so I shall let the photos do the talking ( + take the chance to post photos I might not upload anywhere else haha) and keep my thoughts in my diary~
This trip to France was, I guess, different: I hardly knew people on the trip, and I spent another week with someone I could barely call a friend at first. (Overall a good decision to have a travel buddy though ^^) For the first time, I actually missed home - family, friends, fellowship (and food hehe). No, don't get me wrong - I thoroughly enjoyed the trip and am super thankful that it's a tick off my travel list. I loved walking down the streets, discovering every little detail, watching people, being part of the hype, sitting on the grass with the greatest worry being where my next meal shall be at. I do hope that I always have this privilege to be a carefree traveler. Yet, as always, the escapade made coming back to reality so difficult and I found myself struggling to re-adapt. I'm getting better at it though, and I'm feeling a little less post-vacation blues definitely.
(Trying not to feature myself in the following photos ---)
[Featuring fat Parisian pigeons and the pyramids at Le Louvre]
The architecture and sights were really amazing. I've heard mixed reviews about the Eiffel Tower / L'arc de Triomphe / Louvre etc. but it was great to see them before my eyes :)
Have I mentioned that I loveddddd the flowers in France??? I literally light up whenever I walk past a florist because they have such beautifulll bouquets and bright, fresh flowers!!
[Featuring Chateau de Versailles] This was one of the moments I wished I had a DSLR that could capture the beauty of this place. Despite the really irritating rain that can't make up its mind, thank God that weather was still generally good whenever we went sightseeing. Literally breathtaking being at the Royal Garden. The vastness of sky and greenery; I could spend a peaceful afternoon there.
[Featuring The Wedding at Cana, painting by Paolo Veronese, at Le Louvre] Museums were everywhere and this was the reason why I would ever want to be a student in the EU (free entry!!!) Amazing collection. If you realised, the people in this photo are not looking at the painting, because Mona Lisa was directly opposite this piece. However, I honestly saw nothing exceptional about Mona Lisa hmmm.
[Patisserie at Reims] Quoting Srishti, "You haven't stopped by a cake shop without snapping a photo!" But that's because the pastries are such beauties!!!
[Inside the Notre-Dame Cathedral at Reims] I loved the cathedrals in France and the peaceful atmosphere in every one of them (Dr Brantner would probably say something along the lines of how the space and unspoken rules induce certain kinds of interaction, which is true). Gave up shopping to spend a short 30 minutes in this cathedral and I regretted not going earlier.
There were many more memories - and of course as of every place, not everything is rosy. But I couldn't quite capture the darker, imperfect side of the city and that will therefore only remain in my memory.
Au revoir~ :)
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Sidenote: This is a rather happy post and reflecting upon the trip does make me contented, but as mentioned, I'm still readjusting to normality and there are so many things that weigh down on me right now. It felt like once I returned, things piled up all of a sudden. Friends, family, my faith, work, camps etc.
This trip to France was, I guess, different: I hardly knew people on the trip, and I spent another week with someone I could barely call a friend at first. (Overall a good decision to have a travel buddy though ^^) For the first time, I actually missed home - family, friends, fellowship (and food hehe). No, don't get me wrong - I thoroughly enjoyed the trip and am super thankful that it's a tick off my travel list. I loved walking down the streets, discovering every little detail, watching people, being part of the hype, sitting on the grass with the greatest worry being where my next meal shall be at. I do hope that I always have this privilege to be a carefree traveler. Yet, as always, the escapade made coming back to reality so difficult and I found myself struggling to re-adapt. I'm getting better at it though, and I'm feeling a little less post-vacation blues definitely.
(Trying not to feature myself in the following photos ---)
The architecture and sights were really amazing. I've heard mixed reviews about the Eiffel Tower / L'arc de Triomphe / Louvre etc. but it was great to see them before my eyes :)
[Featuring me along with many other tourists LOL] I think this pretty up sums up Paris - as an incredibly old city (explains why the apartment I lived in had wooden spiral staircase that wasn't quite friendly for people with huge luggages) but one bursting with life and happenings.
There were many more memories - and of course as of every place, not everything is rosy. But I couldn't quite capture the darker, imperfect side of the city and that will therefore only remain in my memory.
Au revoir~ :)
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Sidenote: This is a rather happy post and reflecting upon the trip does make me contented, but as mentioned, I'm still readjusting to normality and there are so many things that weigh down on me right now. It felt like once I returned, things piled up all of a sudden. Friends, family, my faith, work, camps etc.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Ever had one of those days you simply feel under the weather for no particular reason? (OK there must be a reason, but on other days it won't even seem valid.) Today's that day. Feeling mediocre, weary, jaded. Doubting decisions that you have made. Being irked by the smallest of remarks.
Chanced upon a friend's FB post, and similarly, I'm one who doesn't like to regret. In fact, I don't believe in it because I know that I would make the same decision if I were to be in the same circumstance again. Yet sometimes, I cannot help but regret when I keep making the same mistakes again and again.
Today's one of those days, I just want to sip coffee, perhaps pick a book and lie in bed, or sway along acoustic tunes, or pick up my newly-bought water brush pen and doodle a little.
Chanced upon a friend's FB post, and similarly, I'm one who doesn't like to regret. In fact, I don't believe in it because I know that I would make the same decision if I were to be in the same circumstance again. Yet sometimes, I cannot help but regret when I keep making the same mistakes again and again.
Today's one of those days, I just want to sip coffee, perhaps pick a book and lie in bed, or sway along acoustic tunes, or pick up my newly-bought water brush pen and doodle a little.
Friday, May 20, 2016
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"For thinking... it does not create values, it will not find out, once and for all, what "the good" is, and it does not confirm but rather dissolves accepted rules of conduct.. Its political and moral significance comes out only in those rare moments in history when... 'The best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity.'" - Hannah Arendt
How much of your thoughts can you trust? Or the emotions that you feel? The judgments that you pass?
How much of your thoughts can you trust? Or the emotions that you feel? The judgments that you pass?
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Summer break
It's been a while!!! I'm finally done with Freshman year and am feeling pretty good - maybe not so much when results are out hahaha. I just finished translating a chapter for Yongqin and it's such a blessing to do so, for it reminds me of my faith and what I hold on to :) It's amazing what he is doing in HK :)
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It seems like post-exams always follows with difficult decisions and dilemmas for me. I guess it's because I always do last-minute revision and hence put off other decisions. Oops. Also, decision-making isn't a forte of mine hahaha. (at the age of 20, it sometimes amazes me how many things I am uncertain of and how many decisions I cannot make independently. I feel like an old soul sometimes but I also feel very, very lost at other times) Ultimately, one has to learn to make decisions, take responsibility for them, and learn from mistakes, never to commit them again. For me, regrets only come when you know that you would have made a different decision were you back in the same situation but most of the time, this isn't the case.
Meanwhile, I think all I need is to come before Him, quieten myself, and place everything (including my very messy heart / mind (???)) in His hands.
Also, I think I enjoyed the freedom in Cinnamon too much that I find myself needing to adapt to life back at home. Well, it's not a (completely) bad thing because it also means that I'm kicking some bad habits that I used to have. I am learning to appreciate the little acts of love a lot more nowadays too. Patience, patience. Not just with my family, but also with everything else in life that doesn't seem to have an answer right now. Waiting is really difficult, particularly in this era whereby speed and efficiency is everything, and I wish I could get instant answers but I also know that answers that arrive after waiting will be sweeter.
GOOD NIGHT and to (self-rewarded) good food tomorrow ^^
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It seems like post-exams always follows with difficult decisions and dilemmas for me. I guess it's because I always do last-minute revision and hence put off other decisions. Oops. Also, decision-making isn't a forte of mine hahaha. (at the age of 20, it sometimes amazes me how many things I am uncertain of and how many decisions I cannot make independently. I feel like an old soul sometimes but I also feel very, very lost at other times) Ultimately, one has to learn to make decisions, take responsibility for them, and learn from mistakes, never to commit them again. For me, regrets only come when you know that you would have made a different decision were you back in the same situation but most of the time, this isn't the case.
Meanwhile, I think all I need is to come before Him, quieten myself, and place everything (including my very messy heart / mind (???)) in His hands.
Also, I think I enjoyed the freedom in Cinnamon too much that I find myself needing to adapt to life back at home. Well, it's not a (completely) bad thing because it also means that I'm kicking some bad habits that I used to have. I am learning to appreciate the little acts of love a lot more nowadays too. Patience, patience. Not just with my family, but also with everything else in life that doesn't seem to have an answer right now. Waiting is really difficult, particularly in this era whereby speed and efficiency is everything, and I wish I could get instant answers but I also know that answers that arrive after waiting will be sweeter.
GOOD NIGHT and to (self-rewarded) good food tomorrow ^^
Sunday, April 24, 2016
I refuse to let one insensitive and rude remark ruin my day, and so here goes:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/348114246174702796/
2. I was arguably productive today
3. I learnt to place my problem before God first instead of relying on my very limited knowledge to try to fix it.
4. Despite everything, I had good moments with my family today (and I ate ma la guo with my dad - even though it really wasn't spicy at all D: I guess it's time to seek out better ma la guo!)
5. Exam week is coming! Which also means it'll end soon! And I really can't wait because there are so many other things that I want to do during the vacation. (yes, plan. I will start planning.) I initially thought that I had loads of time but looking at my schedule which is filled with camps and the study trip, it seems like a packed vacation after all. Either way, I'm thankful for it :)
With this, good night :)
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